seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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