was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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