Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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