Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
