It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
