if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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