I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
