Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
