You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
