so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
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