We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
a search helicopter?!
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Randomize
