i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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