If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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