What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
