I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
