I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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