Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
