3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
