what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
