Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
