Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
