All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
