have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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