No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
sick fucks of a feather flock together
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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