Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
