I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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