you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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