I must be too annoying 4 u.
you would pick up someone in the library
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
