...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
