No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
