what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
