new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
