I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
