McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
