i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Vodka?
Forever.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
