Don't you send me to vm
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
