I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
