You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
