i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
