I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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