FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
