Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
