how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
