Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
