She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I need moral support for this bender
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
