My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Randomize
