im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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