I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
