I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Say something about gay babies.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
