can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
