I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
